All I really need to know I learned on Fox News

Richard Shelby

At a time when the country is debating whether Sarah Palin is smarter than a fifth grader, MIT economics professor and recent Nobel Prize winner, Peter “Smarty Pants” Diamond withdrew his name from consideration for the Federal Reserve Board of Governors. Republican Banking Committee members had been blocking it, including Alabama Sen. Richard Shelby who repeatedly said that Diamond lacked the necessary qualifications. He’s got a point. Any four-eyed liberal can win a Nobel Prize in economics. The GOP is looking for real world, common sense experience. Someone who:

• Has never bounced a check at the Piggly Wiggly

• Is able to calculate the tip for delivering a package of Oxycontin to Rush Limbaugh

• Understands that unemployment can be eliminated instantly by deporting anyone who uses salsa sauce as a condiment.