Honey, I swear, I’m just exercising my thumbs!

Possible captions:

• That better not be Sharon from Sheboygan!

• Can’t I at least keep my Penises on Parade Montage?

• It’s Schwarzenegger. “Right back at you Bro.”

Political Shorts – 6/20/11

Porn star Sammie Spades says she once worked as an intern for Hillary Clinton – which may explain her first film: “Patty Does Pant Suits.”

According to a new Public Policy Polling survey, Rod Blagojevich just beats out John Edwards as the least popular politician – with both men losing a head-to-penis battle with Anthony Weiner.

John McGee, a Republican state senator from Idaho, was arrested on charges of grand theft and DUI after he allegedly left a golf club drunk and drove away in Ford Excursion pulling a 20-foot travel trailer. Jumping into spin control, his political director immediately issued a press release declaring McGee the “Family Values Lush.”

An Americana folk opera based on a teenage Bill Clinton debuts this week in New York. The show is based on the book “Hillbilly in Heat.”

In her new memoir, Bristol Palin talks about losing her virginity to Levi Johnston on a camping trip after getting drunk on too many wine coolers – or as she called it: Tracy and Hepburn, Wasilla style.

Why Oscar Mayer never ran for public office

Rep. Anthony Weiner is taking quite a grilling from the media. However, there are some things he should be thankful for:

• His name isn’t Anthony Flasher.

• New Yorkers tend to be blasé about errant Weiners.

• There are no photos of burglers trying to break into the “Weinergate.”