Bakers dozen minus eight

It’s not too late for Charlie Baker to turn things around. He just needs some new campaign slogans. For example:

• Jeff Perry, no, the name doesn’t ring a bell
• If I was that annoying my wife would’ve left me years ago
• Admit it, this stuff made sense when Scott Brown said it
• No one talks about the memo I wrote wishing my secretary a happy birthday
• Until he showed up at my campaign headquarters, I thought Loscocco was a Swiss breath mint

Bay State Bombast – 10/25/10

It’s amazing that Massachusetts Democrats never promote their most successful jobs program: a) Write a campaign donation check, and then b) mail it to patronage king Rep Thomas Petrolati.

Republican congressional candidate Sean Bielat says that gay people, like small people, should not be allowed in the military. His statement immediately drew a rebuke from the group, Lincoln Log Cabin Republicans.

(Bordering Bay State Bombast) When he found out that Pres. Obama is not endorsing any Democratic candidate in Rhode Island, Frank Caprio, the Democratic candidate for governor said Obama can “shove it.” Apparently, he thinks he’s running for governor of New York.

At a rally with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, Charlie Baker urged rally-goers to help make Massachusetts “Go Jersey.” The crowd immediately created a petition urging the state to convert Bunker Hill Monument into a landfill.

Can Charlie Baker survive his get-together with Jeff Perry this week? Not if he’s planning one with Chuck Turner next week.

Politics makes strange rally-fellows

Things could be worse for Charlie Baker. O.J. Simpson could be running for 10th district.

Baker, the Mass. gubernatorial GOP candidate, was forced to attend a rally with sex-scandal-tainted 10th district candidate Jeff Perry. How do you support someone without supporting someone? If you’re Baker, you greet Perry as if you’re expecting a 200-volt joy buzzer.

Why is Charlie Baker having female problems?

To all Massachusetts women:

GOP candidate for governor, Charlie Baker really wants to spend more time reaching out to you, as he recently did on the radio:

Listen:

But he’s got to get up early tomorrow to campaign. He promises, he’ll robo-call you.

Bay State Bombast – 10/20/10

Charlie Baker was endorsed by The Boston Herald, which said, “this isn’t a contest for Mr. Congeniality.” True, but it’s also not a contest for Mr. Snarky, Mr. Petulant, or Mr. Irritable.

Barney Frank’s longtime partner, Jim Ready, taunted Frank’s opponent Sean Bielat after their debate last week. Is it time for Mrs. Beilat to hire a trash-talking consultant?

Does the fact that Governor Deval Patrick received $17,000 in campaign contributions from gambling interests make him beholden to the gambling industry? Not according to his gaming advisor, Wingo “Scratch Card” Slotman.

Charlie Baker, who’s been calling for tax cuts, has not been clear about when he would implement them. He said it depends on how soon he can raise the fishing license fee to $500,000.

A recent archeological dig in Boston’s North End has turned up evidence that the area was crawling with brothels in the 18th century. Scientists also discovered the origin of the phrase “Yankees suck.”

The wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas called Brandeis University professor Anita Hill to ask her to apologize for testifying at her husband’s confirmation hearing 19 years ago that he sexually harassed her. The Justice called minutes later and asked about a three way.

As the Massachusetts Governor’s race turns

Let’s review the tapes:

1. First Tim Cahill’s former running mate, Paul Loscocco, a politician with less visibility than Casper the Friendly Ghost, jumps ship and joins Republican Charlie Baker for governor.
2. Next, Tim “Mr. Hell hath no fury like a candidate scorned” Cahill files a lawsuit, claiming two members of his campaign staff and Loscocco were scheming with Baker against Cahill.
3. Now Loscocco claims, without providing any evidence, that Cahill and the third candidate, Gov. Deval Patrick, have been scheming against Charlie Baker.
4. And Loscocco’s political director, Matthew Carleo, can not explain why Loscocco didn’t mention this when he endorsed Baker a week ago.

This raises an obvious question: Loscocco has a political director?

Lessons learned from last night’s debate

Facts and fiction were flying furiously at last night’s Massachusetts Governor’s debate. CNN newsman John King, who was the moderator, did a great job – particularly if you tuned in expecting to see Larry King.

The winner was anybody’s guess. Although, if post debate analysis means anything, WGBH commentator Emily Rooney has all but declared herself Baker’s bitch. Here’s a quick summary:

Charlie Baker continues to show passion. How passionate? Think Scott Brown meets Little Lord Fauntleroy.

Gov. Deval Patrick is starting to look like the winning candidate that voters rallied around in 2006 when they realized there was no acceptable alternative.

Treasurer Tim Cahill generated the most exciting moment of the evening when he called Charlie Baker a liar. Unfortunately, the people who were the most excited were Patrick supporters.

Jill Stein is one inconsequential performance away from being asked to get coffee for the other candidates.

Massachusetts Governor’s Race Report

Republican candidate for Massachusetts governor, Charlie Baker’s recent “Had Enough” TV campaign ad helped tighten his race with Gov. Deval Patrick. This changes everything – until Patrick begins running his “Charlie Baker, the Man behind the Big Dig Debacle” ads.

So how are the candidates really doing? Here’s a semi-in-depth analysis:

Deval Patrick – Being a man of the Birkenstock people can take you only so far. Still, the governor has to be pleased that voters who previously felt strongly hesitant about him now feel mildly ambivalent.

Charlie Baker – Many voters say they know nothing about Charlie Baker. The people who knew him at Harvard know even less about the guy playing basketball in his campaign ad.

Tim Cahill – If current polling trends continue, Treasurer Cahill will have less chance winning than one of his Megabucks lottery tickets.

Jill Stein – Ever notice you never see Jill Stein and Grace Ross together? Coincidence?

Baker’s Dozin’

One of these days Republican Charlie Baker is going to wake up and discover he’s running for governor of Massachusetts. As the state’s former budget chief under governors William Weld and Paul Cellucci, he came up with a scheme to pay for the Big Dig (the most expensive highway project in U.S. history — $14.6 billion) without raising taxes or tolls. It worked fine until the bill came due just when he decided to run for office, effectively fitting him with an albatross necktie that clashes with his corporate candidate image.

Creative accounting got him into this mess. Creative spinning can get him out. For example:

• You try making sound financial decisions while inhaling Bill Weld’s single malt fumes.
• Paul Cellucci swore we could make everything back in one afternoon at Suffolk Downs.
• This is what happens when we let illegal aliens drive on the Southeast Expressway.
• We can raise revenues by converting a leak-laden Big Dig tunnel into a Big Dig water park.
• Whatever Scott Brown says goes for me.