Junk food for the soul

Speaking at his “Restoring Honor” gathering at the Lincoln Memorial, Glenn Beck compared himself to the watchman on the Titanic who spotted the iceberg.

This can mean one of two things: a) America has been warned, but our country will probably sink anyway, or b) Had Glenn Beck been the watchman on the Titanic, estimated crowds of 80,000 to 1,000,000 would have watched him save the ship from sinking — while standing in a really long buffet line.

Kunta Kinte Redux

Conservatives are clamoring to repeal the part of the Fourteenth Amendment that grants citizenship to anyone born in the United States. Why stop there? Let’s get rid of that pesky Thirteenth Amendment (abolishing slavery). At the very least, it would provide Glenn Beck a new sponsor:

“Friends, the only thing better than deporting an illegal immigrant is owning one. Call this toll-free number now…”

And while we’re at it, what’s the point of the Nineteenth Amendment (giving women the right to vote) besides allowing anyone named Consuela, Maria, or Benazir to sneak into the U.S., vote, and sneak out?