Political Shorts – 9/6/11

In a speech yesterday, Michelle Bachmann asked “Why is there a Department of Education?” For the same reason there isn’t a Department of Cluelessness.

Teamster president Jimmy Hoffa, warming up the crowd before President Obama’s speech in Detroit, said referring to the Tea Party: Democrats should “take these sons of bitches out.” A Tea Party spokesman immediately replied: “Keep our families out of this.”

Mitt Romney unveiled his new economic plan. He added, “And I’m almost positive I was never against it.”

The U.S. Postal Service is so low on cash it may have to shut down this winter. If this upsets you, email this joke to ten friends.

It was revealed that a sperm donor has fathered 150 children. Women weren’t interested in his services until he started marketing his product as “I Can’t Believe It’s Not John Edwards.”

See you later alligators

Rep. Michelle Bachmann says as president she’d consider drilling for oil and natural gas in Florida’s Everglades. Why stop there? Think of other great energy sources that environmental extremists are preventing us from tapping:

Mount Rushmore – Who knows how much oil Mobil Exxon could find simply by picking Thomas Jefferson’s nose?

Bunker Hill – It’s about time we clear the top that sucker and find out how much coal is in there.

Betsy Ross House – The fine folks from Halibrton would be more than happy to convert it to a nuclear power plant – in exchange, of course, for a no-bid government contract.