Why Johnny Can’t Lock and Load

Virginia has passed a law that requires its Education department to come up with a gun-safety curriculum for public elementary schools that incorporates guidelines from the NRA’s Eddie Eagle GunSafe Program (not to be confused with its Pete, the Pistol Packing Pelican Program).

A partial reading list might include:

• Heather Has Two Mommies and Three Uzis
• How the Grinch Stole the Second Amendment
• The Little Gun that Could (fire 1100 rounds per minute)
• Curious George Accidentally Blows His Leg Off
• Make My Day, Ducklings
• The Legend of Sleepy Hollow Point Bullets
• Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, You’re Dead