Lutherans and Presbyterians need not apply

The possibility of three Jewish Supreme Court justices has left Pat Buchanan’s Grand Dragon robe in a bunch. He’s got a point. Future rulings by a now Wasp-less court could change our country in profound ways:

• Perez v. White Bread: Court upholds New Mexico’s law banning anyone named Skip, Biff, or Buffy from running for office.
• Murray v. Board of Education: Court orders Brooklyn, NY public schools to provide history teacher Murray Edelman a chair with more lumbar support.
• Arizona v. Cameron Diaz: Court rules that the Grand Canyon State can continue deporting anybody it pleases EXCEPT really hot-looking babes.
• Muhamad el Tastee Freeze v. Orange Julius: Court agrees that a franchise owner can change the name of his store to Osama bin Julius or Dairy Drag Queen.
• Geraldo Rivera v. Fox News: Court says Fox News must allow Rivera to roll his r’s.
• Bernard Goldberg v. Everybody but Fox News: Court rules that Goldberg is too “verklempt” to be objective.
• Buchanan v. New Neighbor: Court rules that Neighbor is not violating anyone’s rights by displaying a lawn statue of an elderly, conservative, Catholic jockey.