A bloated Defense budget goes into a bar…

Defense Secretary Robert Gates has ordered the Pentagon to cut at least $10 billion out of its budget. That’s almost three toilet seats and a hammer.

But seriously:

• The Defense budget is so bloated its latest training film is called “Pimp My Humvee.”
• The Defense budget is so bloated the G.I. Bill has just been turned over to a collection agency.
• The Defense budget is so bloated it buys all its uniforms from Neiman Marcus.
• The Defense budget is so bloated the Army’s slogan has been changed to “We spend more money before 9 am than most people spend all day.”
• The Defense budget is so bloated it had to move the Pentagon to the Hexagon.

Thank you and don’t forget to tip your waitress.